My Turn

What do you do when you’re at a crossroad with your significant other? Are you suppose to immediately fix it or let it go. When is it ever the right time to discuss the not so great things that happen between two people who are in a committed relationship. Are the fences really ever mended when your really upset or hurt. Do we really forgive if we never forget. I unfortunately brought in the New Year with a series of horrible arguments, an unhealed past, and broken promises. Does that mean that it is supposed to be fixed when I know that I am going to go through the same thing in a month or 2. Is it right to always be ready for the worst thing possible in a relationship? Funny how I just woke up one day with a string of responsibilities, putting everyone’s feelings before my own. There is a difference between being content and happy and I have never been the type to settle. I have settled for 5 years now and I wonder when will I ever get my happy back. My wedding anniversary was December 26th and I can honestly say that I didn’t celebrate it for the 3 years that I have been married and now I’m starting to wonder will I ever. Is it supposed to be just another day?¬† I use to always fantasize about my marriage and I wouldn’t have ever thought that it would have been filled with so much deceit. Now that I think about it my marriage started off with lies and deceit. I always thought that if I did everything that I could to be a good wife that my marriage would be ok. Now, I’m not so sure. I feel like I’m on my own, I’m exhausted and I feel like I deserve the happiness that is equal to what I give out. So this year I am going to try to get to a place where I receive nothing but happiness because I deserve it. I have worked very hard to make sure my family (immediate as well as extended)¬†smiles constantly. Now, its my turn.