Thoughts of A Thinker

I hear this all the time. Stop dwelling on the past and don’t worry about the future. Those things will take care of itself. Or your main focus should be on the NOW because its less stressful. Is it. Why is it we should focus on the now when we are living in the moment. Why put the past behind us when it shapes the people we become. And why not worry about our future when our lives depend on what will happen tomorrow (which is the future). There isn’t a human being that hasn’t suffered mentally, physically or emotionally in their lifetime and even though we know that worrying about things that sometimes we have no control over affects our well-being we worry anyway. Does worrying make us bad people? Absolutely not. I think it shapes our character and it shows others as well as ourselves that we care about something and that we have a beating heart. The truth is I actually worry more when I try not to focus on the past and the future so either way I’m screwed. The point I’m trying to make is your thoughts are exactly that. YOURS. And we shouldn’t give them up. Stress comes from dwelling on the negative when in fact we have a lot of positive things in our past and the future. So keep your thoughts, all of them. Good or bad. They’re your thoughts and you should use them as you please.

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First Born

As of January 30, 2014 (which was this past Thursday) I became a proud mother of a 5-year-old little girl. Yes, I do have other children but I just wanted to share my thoughts about how I really feel. Now I’m not the eldest of my parents 7 kids but I can remember how my siblings and I would envy our brother (which was my mother’s first-born) because he had more immunity than we had (so I thought). I can’t speak for the rest of my siblings but I can say that now I slightly understand  why my parents made some of the choses they made. I’m not completely sure why nor have I asked them but the first-born, in my opinion are entitled to certain things and of course I wasn’t a parent back then so I didn’t understand. First borns are the children that we as parents make the most mistakes with. Sounds bad I know but its true. It doesn’t matter if we decide to have more children afterwards, they are usually the children that we get the most practice out of. I.E. when I went into labor I didn’t know what to expect. Regardless of how many stories I had heard or seen on television nothing prepared me for that pain. So by the time I became pregnant with the twins I knew what to expect and I have my daughter to thank for that. Honestly, my labor was much better with the twins than with my daughter. Anyway, her first cold, first bath, first cut, first day of school, etc. are all examples of things I didn’t know anything about until her. And I’m sure all parents feel that way about their eldest child. So I owe my eldest a lot because she did for me what nobody else could, and that’s teaching me how to be a mother for the children I had after her. When she’s old enough to understand I’m going to let her know how much I appreciate the fact that she came first because she deserves it. Her making it to her 5th birthday was a huge milestone for me. One short step down a long road and she’s worth it.