Why is it that women seem to make more sacrifices than men. No, I am not biased but this is my truth. All winter I have been dealing with colds, flus, stomach bugs and so on and that’s just the illnesses that my children have been having. And most of the time when they were sick I was as well. Its very complicated to deal with sick toddlers who doesn’t underatand the severity of being sick while being sick yourself. The boys still thought they could play and vomit all over the house while I’m cleaning up the mess and vomiting right behind them. Of course my husband brings home the bacon so he had to work but I was praying that he stayed home for one day so I could at least lie down. But his typical response was, “I can’t, I have a lot of work to do”. I have been a military wife now for about 5 years but my husbands has missed births, birthday’s, first steps, doctor appointments, and first day of school amongst other things. Before I got married I had a career as well and when he was deployed and my daughter got ill or had a major appointment I had to put my career on hold. Yes I am complaining a little but why can’t soldiers or men in general have sick days for their wives and kids like mothers. I know my job as a mother but we shouldn’t be making all the sacrifices.
As of January 30, 2014 (which was this past Thursday) I became a proud mother of a 5-year-old little girl. Yes, I do have other children but I just wanted to share my thoughts about how I really feel. Now I’m not the eldest of my parents 7 kids but I can remember how my siblings and I would envy our brother (which was my mother’s first-born) because he had more immunity than we had (so I thought). I can’t speak for the rest of my siblings but I can say that now I slightly understand why my parents made some of the choses they made. I’m not completely sure why nor have I asked them but the first-born, in my opinion are entitled to certain things and of course I wasn’t a parent back then so I didn’t understand. First borns are the children that we as parents make the most mistakes with. Sounds bad I know but its true. It doesn’t matter if we decide to have more children afterwards, they are usually the children that we get the most practice out of. I.E. when I went into labor I didn’t know what to expect. Regardless of how many stories I had heard or seen on television nothing prepared me for that pain. So by the time I became pregnant with the twins I knew what to expect and I have my daughter to thank for that. Honestly, my labor was much better with the twins than with my daughter. Anyway, her first cold, first bath, first cut, first day of school, etc. are all examples of things I didn’t know anything about until her. And I’m sure all parents feel that way about their eldest child. So I owe my eldest a lot because she did for me what nobody else could, and that’s teaching me how to be a mother for the children I had after her. When she’s old enough to understand I’m going to let her know how much I appreciate the fact that she came first because she deserves it. Her making it to her 5th birthday was a huge milestone for me. One short step down a long road and she’s worth it.
Space. We all fail to realize that this is a necessity. Room to breathe, and giving others the opportunity to do the same. Space from work, our spouses, our friends, even our children, and so forth. We are becoming too occupied and forgetting that our physical and mental state of mind needs some R&R from time-to-time. We are getting use to doing so much that we don’t even notice when our mind and bodies are in distress. I can say this because I am this person. Feeling guilty because I was a person who just needed a timeout. Always wondering what I need to do the next day, helping others carry out their goals while putting mine on hold, etc. Then, I woke up one day and my identity was gone. I couldn’t recognize myself anymore because I was surrounded by a to-do list. After that, it happened. I went into overload and I became stressed. I crashed when everyone arround me was content and I wasn’t able to take care of myself. I had trouble thinking, eating, and functioning for the people who needed me the most. I became physically ill, then, everybody suffered especially me. I’ve heard of things happening like this before and I never believed it could happened to me. I guess I had to experience it. So, now I can let everyone know who wants to listen. Your body can completely shut down when you don’t take a minute to let yourself relax. Women especially have this problem. We tend to have a gnat of staying in control of everyone’s lives except our own. So, I just wanted to express that we all need space. It is not only desired, its required.
I am a rookie and could be way off base or not know what I’m talking about altogether. My daughter started preschool this year and she just happens to be in a special education classroom because she has PDD-NOS (Autism) and a hearing impairment and I was completely clueless about what was the difference between that particular setting as opposed to a typical classroom. My question is… What happened to copies of birth certificates, shot records and signatures attached to your current address? I get being advocates for your children but when did things get so meticulous with the slightest room for error. I feel like I should have went back to school before she started school because I had to do research, go through a million resources, and learn as many federal laws as I could. And I’m still learning. I think that it is absolutely awesome that the school system is getting the parents to get more involved in our children’s education, but one ugly turn can become a battlefield. Teachers vs. Parents and vice versa. Of course things are a little more complex now since I started school (which were many moons ago). Yes things are completely different when it comes to PTA meetings and parent/teacher conferences but should they turn into debates with our children being caught in the crossfire. I have never had bad experiences with my daughter’s school, in fact, I feel as though she has excellent teachers and she goes to a great school but I have heard, and read about horrible situations between parents and school districts that do not end very well half of the time. But after all the domestics of reading and filling out the necessary paperwork, familiarizing yourself with the new schedules, and so on. I found out that the advocating is worth it in the end. Besides, I have twin boys at home so I should be a pro by the time they start school
We drive every generation to become who they are. Motherhood is the ultimate career.