Funny how a person can wake up one day and not recognize the person that they lay next to every night. How is it a person can make horrible decisions without thinking about the person they said they love the most. Sad how disgusted you feel when you find out how your spouse has been intimate with another person. Livid is a understatement when it comes to my feelings when I think about all of the sacrifices I’ve made to be with you. Hate is what I feel when I think of all the things you have done to hurt me, the mother of your children. Fear is what I feel when I think of our little boys growing up to be just like their father. Resentment is what I feel now for my daughter when she realizes that she won’t be getting attention for her father and seeks it somewhere else.
Men and women??? So different but yet one can’t live without the other. When did we allow things to get so complicated? Always in war with each other with nothing to say. Why is it there is no communication until there is a disagreement that automatically turns into an argument. Going days without speaking to each other about the important things that need to be said. What happened to trying to figure out the problem instead of adding to the conflict. How is it we can coincide in the same space that feels like a warfield. A continuous battle of tug-of-war. Just because we’re quiet to one another doesn’t mean that our relationship is silent, still, or has any comfort. Why is communication so limited when we have so much to say to each other? You have a habit of not saying anything at all and I have a habit of holding things in and I’m pretty sure that we are not the only ones, so, let’s try to be different. Encouraging others to do the same and not fall into such a vicious cycle. Taking it one day at a time, one step at a time. Building each other up instead fo tearing each other down. So, lets stop with the competition and become us against the World.
Everyone on this Earth has problems. We deal with a lot of issues as adults on a daily basis and its easy to get lost in your work, your children, making sure everything is running accordingly at home, etc. Sometimes we need the help to get the shopping done, or getting the kids up for school because I do. What I’
m trying to say is just like its easier to allow things to get out of control, its also easier to find balance and make sure our daily schedules run smoothly. Easy is good but who wants something that they don’t have to work hard at doing or work hard at perfecting. I feel like thats so much more rewarding and of course that is my opinion but I’m pretty sure that I am not the only person that believes that. Yes, we all need the easy road every once in awhile but unfortunately its hard to not be in the same space as other people that feel like everything should be handed to them and in some situations maybe so. But is that the message we want to send our children and the people in our community. I’m not a hypocrite because easy buttons are needed but we should stop and think is the easy road the way all of the time. Moderation is always good. So I’m going to spread it out.
Today is just one of those days. Wishing I could just get away. Away from the crying, hearing my name, and from these white prison walls. Where is my day of just rest and relaxation. Peace, yes that’s definitely what I need at this very moment. A clear state of mind. No worrying about the future and definitely not worry about things that I have zero control over. Funny how when your young and you feel like you have your own future in your hands, it ends up in the hands of others. No worries, yes that’s exactly what I need. Quiet, stillness, complete consciousness is what I lack. How could I let things get so out of control, how could I let it come to this? I wake up in the morning remembering nightmares with no memories of happy days before. What day did I fool myself into thinking that being content was enough for me? What am I to do? I guess nothing but today will be one of those days of wanting, wishing, and waiting.
I remember when I was single and working. I use to watch random women, mothers shopping, having lunch, etc. everyday wondering why aren’t they at home caring for their families. I didn’t get it then but I get it now. I had no idea about the hustle and bustle of that lifetime and little did I know I was in for a huge awakening. When I was growing up my mother worked when it suited her but she also did the normal thing that went along with the wife and kids lifestyle. Her social life was normal to her but she did the grocery store and church scene the most. But of course I was little and I thought things looked rather easy for her but I get it now. I had no idea that being a parent was so complex and technical. Everything taught to you in a lifetime you have to use those skills in parenting. Being a mother also has its high points as well but you do have moments when it’s really bad, its bad. Women, we do deserve that extra shopping spree, spa day and drink when it’s needed that we don’t necessarily have the time for. There’s school, cooking, cleaning, shopping and I can go all day. I use to look down upon women who made the time to take care of themselves when they have children but I get it now and its a must. This is a true statement: Motherhood is equals 2 full-time jobs plus overtime with no off days with little to no sleep. I feel awful that I judged any mother because in the end we are all women that should support one another and for that I am so sorry. What it boils down to is a husband and 3 kids later. I GET IT…
Hi world. Today I’m beginning a new journey with trying to find myself while hopefully helpng others in the process. In my future blogs I plan on writing about my life as a wife and mother and things that cross my path along the way. Hopefully all of it will be positive but nothing is perfect so I will try to keep it PG-13. As every woman should know, we are faced with so many challenges and no one that walks among the Earth can do what we do and I can only speak for women because I am one and I hope to touch everyone that I come in contact with in a way thats inspiring to that person at that imparticular time. At this time in my life I just think I should begin to try to help as much as I can and receive any love that anyone has to offer. So this is to the future my friends. Salute…