Just Tired

Well written and something everyone needs to know about the hardest job in the world.

4 Mothers

236I’m just going to call it and tell you I’m tired.  My life is full of good things, nothing is really wrong, but the mindset to enjoyment just seems an elusive step away.

You know how some of it goes, I’m sure. Wake up, feed the kids, pack lunches and snacks, wrangle them into winter gear (realize your oldest kid’s boots are missing from outing with dad), get them to school.  Talk to fellow mom, discover that last week I offered a playdate for our youngest boys that is hard to follow through on.  Go to the office to do parent council duties because, in a moment of weakness, I did what I explicitly said I wouldn’t do, and volunteered to be co-chair of the council (there was no one else, everyone seemed to be looking my way, I believe in community involvement, I like the people, blah blah)…

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Glued Together

Men are to love their wife, and women are to be submissive. Everyone has their own interpretation so I find I rather useless to explain how I feel about that open statement. I can say that when Adam and Eve roamed the Earth after they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden that had many trials and tribulations and God never mentioned divorce to them nor did they mention it themselves because they had no clue what it was. Divorce was man-made and came about during the time of Moses. It was only allowed under the circumstances of infidelity and nothing else. The bible never stated that I will allow anyone to get a divorce because we can’t get along. Infidelity only… And Moses never said I urge divorce as long as you have the papers to do so. Moses said, I will let divorce happen only when your spouse cheats on you in the literal sense. Which means that divorce was allowed by some people but not in the eyes of God. It has been said in those times women were not allowed to speak the word divorce but when men got tired of their current wife and wanted something new he would either speak the word divorce and that was it or he would add extra wives to his bunch. I found that very interesting and it kind of explained why the marriage society is the way it is today. Something we all should think about because history always repeats itself. We all should consider marriage very seriously because of things like this because marriage vows clearly state that your stuck with your spouse like glue forever. It isn’t for everybody and in this day in time you have to consider who your marrying because it might just be somebody that hates being stuck with another person

Nuptials

Funny how a person can wake up one day and not recognize the person that they lay next to every night. How is it a person can make horrible decisions without thinking about the person they said they love the most. Sad how disgusted you feel when you find out how your spouse has been intimate with another person. Livid is a understatement when it comes to my feelings when I think about all of the sacrifices I’ve made to be with you. Hate is what I feel when I think of all the things you have done to hurt me, the mother of your children. Fear is what I feel when I think of our little boys growing up to be just like their father. Resentment is what I feel now for my daughter when she realizes that she won’t be getting attention for her father and seeks it somewhere else.

My Turn

What do you do when you’re at a crossroad with your significant other? Are you suppose to immediately fix it or let it go. When is it ever the right time to discuss the not so great things that happen between two people who are in a committed relationship. Are the fences really ever mended when your really upset or hurt. Do we really forgive if we never forget. I unfortunately brought in the New Year with a series of horrible arguments, an unhealed past, and broken promises. Does that mean that it is supposed to be fixed when I know that I am going to go through the same thing in a month or 2. Is it right to always be ready for the worst thing possible in a relationship? Funny how I just woke up one day with a string of responsibilities, putting everyone’s feelings before my own. There is a difference between being content and happy and I have never been the type to settle. I have settled for 5 years now and I wonder when will I ever get my happy back. My wedding anniversary was December 26th and I can honestly say that I didn’t celebrate it for the 3 years that I have been married and now I’m starting to wonder will I ever. Is it supposed to be just another day?  I use to always fantasize about my marriage and I wouldn’t have ever thought that it would have been filled with so much deceit. Now that I think about it my marriage started off with lies and deceit. I always thought that if I did everything that I could to be a good wife that my marriage would be ok. Now, I’m not so sure. I feel like I’m on my own, I’m exhausted and I feel like I deserve the happiness that is equal to what I give out. So this year I am going to try to get to a place where I receive nothing but happiness because I deserve it. I have worked very hard to make sure my family (immediate as well as extended) smiles constantly. Now, its my turn.