Thoughts of A Thinker

I hear this all the time. Stop dwelling on the past and don’t worry about the future. Those things will take care of itself. Or your main focus should be on the NOW because its less stressful. Is it. Why is it we should focus on the now when we are living in the moment. Why put the past behind us when it shapes the people we become. And why not worry about our future when our lives depend on what will happen tomorrow (which is the future). There isn’t a human being that hasn’t suffered mentally, physically or emotionally in their lifetime and even though we know that worrying about things that sometimes we have no control over affects our well-being we worry anyway. Does worrying make us bad people? Absolutely not. I think it shapes our character and it shows others as well as ourselves that we care about something and that we have a beating heart. The truth is I actually worry more when I try not to focus on the past and the future so either way I’m screwed. The point I’m trying to make is your thoughts are exactly that. YOURS. And we shouldn’t give them up. Stress comes from dwelling on the negative when in fact we have a lot of positive things in our past and the future. So keep your thoughts, all of them. Good or bad. They’re your thoughts and you should use them as you please.


One of those days

Today is just one of those days. Wishing I could just get away. Away from the crying, hearing my name, and from these white prison walls. Where is my day of just rest and relaxation. Peace, yes that’s definitely what I need at this very moment. A clear state of mind. No worrying about the future and definitely not worry about things that I have zero control over. Funny how when your young and you feel like you have your own future in your hands, it ends up in the hands of others. No worries, yes that’s exactly what I need. Quiet, stillness, complete consciousness is what I lack. How could I let things get so out of control, how could I let it come to this? I wake up in the morning remembering nightmares with no memories of happy days before. What day did I fool myself into thinking that being content was enough for me? What am I to do? I guess nothing but today will be one of those days of wanting, wishing, and waiting.